Woah!

This month has been crazy. My husband has been off interviewing, as I mentioned in my last post. While it is fun, it sure has been draining on the energy. Last week before our trip to Grand Junction, CO I had noticed that my baby wasn't moving the way she had been. I went in for some monitoring on Saturday morning. They checked her out and said she was moving fine. I wish I had pushed it a bit more than I did, but I thought, "Okay, they said she was okay, she must be." We went on our trip the next day and her movements continued to decline. The thought kept going through my head that something just wasn't quite right. We got back into Akron on Tuesday night and my doctor flew out that night for a conference. I was supposed to have an appointment on Wednesday, but as he was out of town it had been rescheduled for next week.

All Wednesday I had a nagging feeling that something just wasn't right, but I kept putting it off. (Dumb, I know) By Thursday morning I couldn't stand it any longer. I called his office (he is the only doc in the practice) and asked them to please do an ultrasound to check on her. They called the doc that was covering for mine and sent me into the hospital for more monitoring. Now, nurses don't always have the full story right away when you get there, so their understanding was that they would just do more simple movement monitoring  of the baby. I informed them that it was not acceptable and not enough. I needed an ultrasound to check on her.

Now, a little background. When I was pregnant with my second (Kelsi) there was a placental defect which allowed for a lot of her blood to mix with mine. She had an Rh+ blood type and I have an Rh-. So even though I had been given the RhoGam shots to prevent an antibody from forming, due to the volume, the antibody did in deed develop. This is something they have been monitoring closely with this baby and can change quite quickly. In fact, at my appointment just two weeks ago everything looked PERFECT.

So they did an ultrasound and the findings were not good at all. This Rh Antibody causes my red blood cells to attach her red blood cells. This has caused her to become anemic. Not only that, but she has also developed a dangerous condition called Hydrops Fetalis. This is where the baby gets fluid in major cavities in the body. This little one had fluid and swelling in her brain, heart and abdomen. Most of the time this can be reversed and hopefully without lasting effects with blood transfusions for the baby.

As my doctor was out of town he sent me to a "Super" specialist in Columbus, at the Ohio State Medical Center. The blood bank worked all night to get blood ready for my little girl. They have to do a lot to make certain that it is free of antibodies, wash it and remove quite a few things and thicken it up for these little babies. Friday morning they checked the Hemoglobin (Hgb) of the baby. Normally they want people to have a level around 14, they will typically transfuse around 8 and my poor little girl had 1.9. She was VERY sick.

This is an invasive procedure where they take a needle and go in through my stomach and into her cord to transfuse the new blood. The risks of this can cause premature labor, premature rupture (water breaking) and a few other things. So each time we do this they will have the surgical team on stand by ready to do an emergency c-section.

With this procedure her Hgb went up to 8.4. I will be returning to Ohio State Medical Center Monday night. They will do another transfusion on her first thing Tuesday morning. We are no where near out of the woods, but at least she now has a chance. After this last transfusion, her heart rate improved immediately. Throughout the day she has become more active and is getting stronger with her punches, kicks and movements again. It is such a relief to feel her moving around again. Each of these transfusions typically last between 2 - 4 weeks before they will have to be repeated. This almost ensures that I will not have a full term baby. We are just praying that I can make it into the month of January, but it is touch and go. For the next week I am on bed rest and will be taking it easy. After each procedure I will again be on bed rest for a few days.

Needless to say, the classes that I had scheduled and was about to post are now back on hold. UGH.

We are still hopeful that things will go well, we are very appreciative of all the prayers and good thoughts that people have been sending our way. I can easily keep things updated on my facebook page with my cell phone. If you would like to add me to your friend list to keep updated you can find me at: www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/Melissa.w.Muir

Thanks again for your prayers and well wishes.

Melissa

Looking Good

So my appointment on Wednesday started out kind of rough. I started with a blood pressure reading of 148/108. When the nurse told me that I just cried. She was so cute and just gave me a hug. Luckily, after a little bit of quiet time, it did come down to an acceptable level. I think I was just upset about my friend Katie and the fact that I am getting closer to my dates with Kelsi. I was admitted to the hospital with her at 23 weeks 3 days. I am now 23 weeks, so it is a very emotional time for me in the pregnancy.

They did an ultrasound and checked all of the measurements and she is looking perfect. It was so fun to watch her as she moved around. we even saw her yawning. That was so cool. We did verify that it is a GIRL and believe me, there was NO mistaking it. She is a girl. Even I could see that pretty clearly. ;) YAY!

They estimate her weight to be approximately 1 pound 4 ounces. So she is growing very well, measuring a couple of days ahead even. I like it when they are a bit ahead rather than weeks behind. She is such a mover. It is annoying and comforting all at the same time. But I am certainly glad for every little kick, even the ones that are attempts to empty my bladder.

My next appointment isn't for three more weeks as I will be traveling and my doctor will be out of town when my normal 2 week appointment is. Let's hope I don't loose my mind before then. I just need to get through the next week and a half.

Did you know that October 15th  is National/World Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day? Today I remember all of the angels that never got to stay or stayed to short of a time. Sending hugs and love to all of my angel mothers.

Almost a month

I just looked at the date of my last post and it was September 14. Things are crazy around here. My hubby finishes up his training here in Akron in April, so we have been jet setting around the western states as he interviews for prospective employment. It has been a lot of fun as they have all flown me out with him while he interviews. They are very wise people, for they understand that if the wife doesn't approve of a location, there is no way in HELL that the hubby is going to be able to accept their offer. ;) Smart people!

But I do have to say that flying is rather..... um.... not fun when you are pregnant. I don't think my little baby in the tummy enjoys it either. She kicks and moves almost the entire flight. While that is fun and I enjoy it, it isn't exactly comfortable. I feel that if I have even a drop or two of fluid in my bladder, it is open season for kicking it. Not so good. And I won't even talk about the swelling that happens in my feet, ankles and legs. I am not one to really swell in those areas, but DANG,  they sure can get thick.

Things are progressing rather well. My mom called me the other day and was asking why I hadn't posted anything in a long time. Those of you that have been through this before will probably understand a little better than those that haven't, but it is almost as if I am trying not to think about the pregnancy. If I don't think about it, then I can't freak out over every little thing. Especially right now. I am currently 22 weeks 4 days. I was admitted to the hospital with Kelsi at 23 weeks 3 days. I am so close. My blood pressure is riding a little higher than we like, but not so high that they are overly concerned about it. My Rh Antibody doesn't seem to be causing any issues at this point. The numbers are staying nice and low so far. That doesn't mean that it won't change, just that we are starting nice and low and that buys time if it is going to change.

I was actually starting to feel rather good about things and even ventured into the baby department at one of the local stores here. It was so fun to look at the furniture, accessories and such. We don't currently have ANYTHING baby as I had gotten rid of everything thinking we were done. My little sister is sending a few things back to me as I type this, but I will still have a lot to get. I felt pretty good about checking things out...until I got home.

One of my online friends is due just a week after me and has gone into preterm labor. She is already dilated to a 5 and has bulging waters. This is not a good thing as it is already too late to do any surgery to prevent further dilation or labor. It is heartbreaking to watch her go through this. She is already the mother to an angel baby born still at 36 weeks and a miscarriage 2 months prior to this pregnancy. It is hitting rather close to home as I near my first milestone of 24 weeks. I read her posts on FB as she sits and feels her little girl swimming and kicking around not knowing when it will all end. I remember that all too well with Kelsi. I know exactly what she is feeling. :( It is simply heartbreaking.

I had decided, before I found out about my sweet friend Katie, that I would double check the gender at today's appointment and if it really was a girl, I was going to go back and buy the bedding set I had found at the store. But now, I think I will wait until about 34 weeks to buy anything. I am just too nervous. Stupid, I know, but it is how I cope. And it isn't one bit different from how I coped with my pregnancy with Kate. I didn't buy anything until I was 34 weeks and even then it was only things I knew I would need immediately, like diapers, wipes and such.

Well, It is 10:00. I have an appointment today at 10:30 so I am off. I will update soon.

Still here

I am still here. I have just been really busy lately. My husband and I just visited Reno, Nevada over the weekend where he had a job interview. They liked him so much that they have already offered him the position. We still have more trips and interviews coming up, so we told them we would give them an answer by December. Yes, I know that is still a bit away, but he wouldn't even be starting until May of next year.

Reno was interesting. It isn't very pretty (sorry if you live there and think it is.) It just doesn't float my boat in the prettiness department. We drove up to Lake Tahoe, and that WAS PRETTY! :)

Just before we left I got to spend a little bit of time in Labor and Delivery on Labor Day. I had been having some awful contractions in my back.  I haven't ever had back labor so it was a very different feeling for me. Luckily, they checked me out again and all seems to be good. The doctor cleared me for my trip. We got home on Sunday and I had another appointment on Yesterday. We started the MCA's. This is where they look at the blood flow in the baby's brain to see if it is affected by the Rh Antibody. At this point we are starting off with really low numbers. That doesn't mean it won't be an issue, it just buys us more time if it is going to become an issue. So for now, we are sitting back and trying to relax until the next scan which is only 2 weeks away. We checked the gender again and the baby doesn't like to cooperate too much, but it does look like it really is a little girl. But DANG this little one is SO STINKING ACTIVE. She is just like my last baby. It is hard to get the heart rate and various measurements because she moves around so much. It is kind of fun though. She is always moving, which is VERY reassuring!

So for now, that is how things are going. :) YAY! We like good and uneventful.

1st day of school and appointment

Well today was my oldest daughter's first day of middle school. She is only in the 5th grade, but that is when they start middle school here. She was so nervous this morning. She was really cute though. I guess the day turned out okay. She isn't a big fan of school in the first place. I hope things go a bit better for her this year. She will have the opportunity to meet all sorts of new friends as there are three elementary schools that feed into the middle school.

Today, Kelsi would have also started Kindergarten. it still gets me all misty eyed and I cried about it today at my doctor's appointment. The doctor was really sweet. He said, the anniversaries are just really hard and sometimes just suck. :) Boy was he right.

Well, I have been having contractions for the past couple of nights. So he did a pretty thorough exam to make sure everything was closed and looked good. Everything is looking good so far. We will keep an eye on it to make certain nothing happens. I did talk the sonographer to sneak a peak to see if we could see if the baby was a boy or girl though. :) She told me not to run out and buy any thing for the baby yet, but if she had to guess, it looks like we are in for GIRL #4. :) I guess I really don't know how to make little boys. But that is okay by me too. I love my girls. And my husband is so cute with our girls. :) You know, it takes a special man to be a daddy of only girls. That, and lots of ammo. :) HAHAHA

So, I am not holding my breath yet that it truly is a girl, but it is kind of fun to think about. We should know more at the 20 week ultrasound. We also talked about the MCA's (ultrasounds of the brain checking for blood flow due to the Rh Antibody) and we will start those at 18 weeks. So just a couple of more weeks until that gets underway.

I am just glad that things are looking good for now.

Kindergarten

Thursday I threw a birthday party for my 4 year old. Her birthday was in July, but I could barely get myself off my couch. So, while it was postponed, she still enjoyed it quite a bit. I had 4 little girls come over. The neighbors on either side of me both have little girls the "same" age as Kate. There was one little girl from church and the last little girl lives right across the street from us. There is an interesting background on the little girl across the street. When I was pregnant with Kelsi, I participated on an online board for expecting moms. We were all due at the same time and such. Well, keep in mind that at the time, I lived in Virginia in the DC area. Everyone was wonderful when Kelsi was born at 24 weeks and then passed away 2 1/2 days later. Fast forward to two years ago when we bought my current home. Strangely enough the family DIRECTLY across the street from me is one that belongs to one of the moms from that group.

Well, their little girl, that was due within days of Kelsi, is alive and well. She is a beautiful little girl full of life and so much fun. It is fun and difficult to watch her all at the same time. Well, this little girl was at the party and she was talking about how she had just been to her kindergarten orientation, met her teacher, bought her clothes and school supplies.

Then it hit me, Kelsi should be starting Kindergarten next week too. I am really having a hard time with this. Every time I think about it, I just cry. Even typing this is difficult. I know that if she had lived, she most likely wouldn't really even be starting kindergarten, and perhaps she never would be able to attend school, but you don't really think about things like that. You think about how things "should" be, not how they "really would be."

I posted something about this on my facebook status today and one of my "friends" posted about how her son would be 26 years old now. She often wonders what he would be like, where he would be in life, any grand kids she might have, etc. and I just though, OH MY GOSH. I had never thought that far ahead. There is so much to miss out on.

You get past the "anniversary's," the birthdays, the angel dates, and you learn how to deal with those. It is really interesting how the the new "missed memories" hit. I never expected this. I didn't think it would hit me so hard. I certainly didn't expect to cry like I have been every time I think about her going (or not) to kindergarten. Earlier I was thinking about going out to sit with my friend on the first day that her little girl gets onto the bus. But I don't think I can do it.

On another note, Kate's birthday party was great! The girls were requested to wear their favorite dress and bring a doll. We started out by decorating their gift bags. They used sparkly stickers and markers. It was fun! They each received a princess crown and wand, a silly straw and of course princess jewelry. Then they made a bracelet for them selves and one for their dolly. I made a special necklace for each of them with their names. After that, we went upstairs and had cake and opened presents. We ended right at 2 hours. It was the perfect timing. Everyone was occupied and entertained the entire time. It was low cost, low mess and perfect for 4 and 5 year old's.

I am 15 weeks today. I swear this is going to be the longest pregnancy I have ever had. Each day seems to just drag on and on and on....and oh so slowly. I really am trying to enjoy this, but the constipation and nausea is making that difficult. But to help combat that nausea one of the sweetest bloggy friends (Justine of A Half Baked life) offered to make me some ginger-lemon carrot muffins. They came yesterday and all I can say is, "NOM NOM NOM" Ooooh, they are good. :) Justine has such a fun blog. Not only does she post what is going on with her (another pregnancy just a couple weeks ahead of me) but she also posts the most fantastic recipes that are DELISH looking. I wish she lived closer. And they are amazing recipes. In my muffins she even uses some of the ingredients she grew in her very own garden. Thanks so much Justine!!!!

One of these days I am going to figure out how to post pictures on here and then I can share some pictures of the party and other things. :)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY - TO ME! :)

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. Man, that makes me sound old. I guess I am getting up there, but we did get married young. :) We got married a month after I turned 20 and he turned 23. We were talking about our anniversary just a couple of weeks ago and he said, "It sure doesn't seem that long ago." And it really doesn't until you look back at all of the experiences we have been through together.

He really is an amazing guy. I am so lucky that I got him and even more lucky that he loves me the way he does. I haven't ever been the easiest person to love or get along with, but he has plugged along with me as I figured out "who I was." and we have really grown very close to each other. It is kind of funny, I think we figured we had a 130% chance of divorce, but here we are, strong as ever. They say that couples that go through medical school married have an 80 - 90% chance of divorce, and throw in there the death of a child, WHILE in med school and that is at least 50 - 60%. And there were times where we really did struggle. But I am so glad we forged ahead and figured it out.

On the baby front, I am finally 14 weeks along WOOHOO!!!! I wish I could say that I was feeling better. There have been a couple of days where the mornings were really good, then out of nowhere, they were horrible all day long again. I have also figured out that this baby doesn't like pizza. Whenever I eat it, it tries its hardest to get it out of my body. :) HAHAHA Luckily, I have been able to keep my food down for the past few weeks. I am just looking forward to getting rid of the all-day sickness. That can go away any time now and I won't miss it one little bit.

I am still seeing the doctor every other week, which is sure nice on me mentally. :) It is great to go in often to make certain things are going well. I will most likely start my weekly appointments in another 4 - 6 weeks. We will be watching the baby's blood flow in the brain through an ultrasound to see if it is affected by the high Rh antibody that I have.

So in the mean time, the baby's heart rate is in the 140's. Everyone loves to tell me about the wives tales and how that means it is a boy. For whatever reason, the whole gender thing is really rubbing me wrong. I guess because I have 3 girls already everyone just automatically assumes I am hoping for a boy this time. Actually, I don't really care, as long as it is healthy and alive. And truth be told, I would prefer another girl. I know what to do with girls. I get to dress them up and put jewelry on them and bows in their hair, and candy cane tights at Christmas time. You don't get to do any of that with a boy. And don't get me started on the names. Everyone has name suggestions. Luckily, I haven't liked any of them. I think this time, I am going to pick my names and not tell anyone what we have chosen until the baby is born. At this rate, it won't be an issue anyway, because I can't think of a single name that I would like to name my child, boy or girl. ;) HAHAHA

So for now, I am plugging away and continuing to hold down the couch. It is safe and sound. :)