Thursday, December 30, 2010

Kelsi's Birthday Surprise

6 years ago today at 11:15 AM my sweet little Kelsi made her appearance during an emergency c-section. She came out crying and shocked everyone in the operating room. My sweet little girl was the tiniest thing you have ever seen. There are a LOT of babies born at the hospital where she was born and she was one of the three smallest living babies ever born there. Sadly, none of them lived. Even though Kelsi's life was short, she has done so much good. It is through her I have met some of the most amazing people both through my own journey in grief and as I helped others through their journey.

Candy Cane Cupcakes by Justine
Every year we celebrate Kelsi's birthday with a party. Sometimes it is just our small family, other times we include special friends. This year we chose to celebrate as a family. Garth is working so the girls and I are having a girls night out. I offered to take them out to dinner and a movie, but they opted to stay in, make cupcakes and have a "theater night" with a movie and pop corn. We had decided to make cupcakes instead of a cake, because, as my girls put it, they will be small like Kelsi. :)

Riley and Kate having fun frosting the cupcakes

Last night I didn't sleep well at all. I got perhaps only 3 or 4 hours of sleep total. I spent only a couple of short hours at the NICU with Kiari. One of my nurses even remembered that today was Kelsi's birthday and came to tell me she was thinking of my angel today and my family. Awwwwww, totally brought tears to my eyes. But with all that said and the emotions involved, I was so tired and didn't know how I was going to make dinner and cup cakes. Well, as luck would have it, it was all taken care of.

A friend from our church brought us the most wonderful lasagna with a bunch of the fixings for dinner. And when she came to the door we found a rather large parcel on our front porch. It was addressed to me from a dear blogger friend, Justine (A Half Baked Life.) When I was still pregnant, I had had a dream where I was eating the yummiest candy cane cupcakes. I happened to mention it on my face book page and this sparked my culinary friend. Justine has the most fabulous blog where she posts about life and issues she has faced while trying to add more members to her family. And as an added bonus, with EVERY post, she also puts up the recipe and picture of a delicious dish she has made. There are a few that I am dying to try out as soon as I have my baby home and have a little bit more time to spend in the house.
All frosted, with some left over. YUM!

Well, as you might have guessed, inside this box was a batch of Candy Cane Cupcakes!!!!! IT WAS PERFECT. She sent a beautiful card and told me that had she lived close by, she would have delivered them all beautifully frosted. This is one time that I am glad she doesn't live close by. She sent a container of candy cane frosting and candy canes to go on top. It was, as I said, perfect. The girls and I frosted the cupcakes and while I am sure Justine will cringe at our non-culinary talent when it comes to making her creation beautiful, it allowed Riley and Kate and I to have a little bit of fun while talking and thinking about Kelsi. Once they were decorated, the hunt for candles began. Luckily, my neighbor two doors down had some for us to use. We sang Happy Birthday and we all blew the candles out. It was kind of fun to watch the smoke wisps hang and curl in the air.

Make a wish.

Watching the smoke wisps
Kate drew Kelsi a picture


Justine, thank you so much. Not only were they wonderful (Even better than in the dream), but the timing could not have been better. It was an answer to my prayers and just what I needed today. You are a special lady, and I am so glad I came across your blog a few months back.

It even has stripes
Happy Birthday Kelsi. There isn't a day that I don't think of you. Not a day passes where I don't miss you terribly. Every day the girls and I talk about you. Riley and Kate have already told Kiari all about you and before Kiari can talk, I am sure she will be well acquainted with you as well.

Today I spent a little bit of time with Kiari. In my last post, I had put up some pictures of Kelsi. It is almost eerie how much the two of them look alike. The biggest difference besides their size and coloring, is that Kelsi's head is round and Kiari's head is long like her daddy's. It is impossible to look at Kiari and not see Kelsi. Between Riley and Kiari, I will never have to wonder what Kelsi would have looked like.

Kiari got her first bling the other day. Okay, so it isn't really bling. I didn't want to put anything small that she could get into her mouth and have it be a problem. But she did get her first silver bracelet.

My First Bracelet
This bracelet fits my thumb pretty darn well. It is a little bit big for a thumb ring on me, but it won't fit over two fingertips side by side on my hands. It is really small. I will take a picture of it with a quarter to give you a better idea of how small it really is. When it is straight, it is only 2 1/2" long.

My First Christmas
Santa stopped by the NICU and left all the babies little outfits. I think one of the nurses told me that a NICU graduate family brings them in every year for the babies. I will have to remember that gesture in the future. It was really touching. This is Kiari in her out fit. It is small, a newborn size, but it still drowns Kiari. I had to roll the sleeves up three times just to get it above her wrists. But it is so stinking cute.

This picture was taken today. The room was dark and I used the lower resolution camera on my phone so it isn't great, but you can see how much she has changed. She is up to 4 lbs 12 oz today. She is getting some meat on her little bones, though her skin is still saggy and wrinkly. hahaha I had her on my chest yesterday and noticed that her rib cage was much larger than even just last week. She is now close to 18" long. She is growing fast. She still isn't eating by mouth, but we will start that next week. I have been working with her trying to get her to latch on. She is starting to get it, but it will take a while still. They say we still have another 2 - 4 weeks in the NICU.


  1. :) I am SOOO happy that they arrived today! Thanks for taking pictures so I could be a part of your celebration, too! :) Happy birthday to Kelsi, and much love to all of you. *hug*

  2. Praise God for such wonderful blessings and friends!

    I will never ever forget Kelsi, she will always hold a special place in my heart.

    Happy Birthday Kelsi!

  3. Happy belated birthday Kelsi. Auntie loves you and misses you.

    Aren't blog friends the best? Aren't you glad your awesome sister told you to start a blog? ;) Those cupcakes look awesome. What a lovely friend! BTW, one of my three best friends is also named Justine. There must be something about the name. ;)

    Kiari is so stinking cute. I seriously can't want to meet and hold her. Such a sweet little baby.

    Love you Beanie!